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    married muslim men who cheat 
    #1
    Senior Member pass salaam's Avatar
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    Question :

    What is the ruling concerning married muslim men who cheat on thier wives(physically or non physically) and what is the ruling concerning muslim women who knowingly have an affair with married men just for fun?

    Answer :

    Praise be to Allaah.

    Firstly:

    For a man to form an illicit relationship with a non-mahram woman is not just cheating on his wife, it is also a sin and an act of disobedience towards his Lord. Allaah has forbidden such relationships and has barred the ways that may lead to the greater form of immorality which is zina (unlawful sexual relationships), which is what is referred to in the question.

    The forbidden acts which people commit when they have such relationships are many and include being alone with that person (khulwah), shaking hands with them, looking at them, etc. These are sins which are forbidden in the texts in and of themselves, and because of the sin of zina to which they may lead.

    Secondly:

    For a Muslim woman to form an illicit relationship with a man who is not her mahram – whether he is married or not – is also a major sin and is worse than what is mentioned in the first part of the question, because it results in mixing of lineages and it makes the husband doubt whether his children are really his or not, which leads to a great deal of mischief.

    There follow the fatwas of some of the scholars concerning something that is less serious than meetings between the sexes, so what about things that are more serious?

    1 – Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said:

    It is not permissible for any person to correspond with a woman who is not his mahram, because of the fitnah (temptation) involved in that. The person who is sending these letters may think that there is no fitnah involved, but the Shaytaan will keep at him until he tempts the man by means of the woman and vice versa.

    The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded those who hear the Dajjaal to keep away from him, and he said that a man may come to him as a believer, but the Dajjaal will keep at him until he tempts him and leads him astray.

    There is a great deal of temptation and danger in correspondence between young men and young women, so they must keep away from it, even though the questioner may say that there is no love involved.

    Fataawa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 2/578

    2 – Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah al-Jibreen said, when he was asked about corresponding with a non-mahram woman:

    This action is not permissible, because it will provoke desire between them and will make them want to meet one another. This kind of correspondence often causes fitnah (temptation) and plants the seeds of zina in the heart, which leads to evil actions. So we advise those who are seeking that which is in their own best interests and who wish to protect themselves to avoid writing to or speaking with non-mahrams, etc., so as to protect their religious commitment and their honour, and Allaah is the Source of help.

    Fataawa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 2/578, 579

    And Allaah knows best.



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    #2
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    If something like this nature was to happen how would you ask for forgiveness and would it be granted?
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    #3
    Abu Sufyaan
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    You ask for forgiveness by making Tawbah, listen to a lecture by brother Bilal Assad "Ahmad the Repenter" it is about a brother that cheated on his wife then regretted it. It is a beautiful story and really answers your question through the actions of this brother. May Allah admit him to the highest ranks in Paradise. You can get a copy of it at IISNA www.iisna.com You can contact them through there or get their address/number from the site. But I really recommend this lecture.

    As for your second question 'Would it be granted' I say yes. Only from the knowledge that Allah is Merciful and if a Muslim is to turn to Allah and sincerely repent Allah will forgive him/her. And the lecture does answer this and leaves you believing that Allah has forgiven this brother for his actions especially from the way he dies. It is a lecture that would leave you in tears.

    Allah is Most Forgiving Most Merciful and His Mercy prevails His Anger.
    Last edited by Shadower; 10-Dec-2004 at 11:26 PM.
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    #4
    Muslimah mariam's Avatar
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    Subhanallah it really is a beautiful lecture.. I cried aswell while listening to it..
    "No doubt the muslim woman is the most refined example of womanhood ever known in any human society."
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    #5
    O Allah, forgive us all! Muhammad Abdullah's Avatar
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    I cried when I heard this lecture. May Allah make us of those who rush to repentance!
    THE PURPOSE OF LIFE:

    “And I (Allaah) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone)”

    [font=Arial][color=darkgreen][al-Dhaa
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    Muslimah mariam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Muhammad Abdullah
    I cried when I heard this lecture. May Allah make us of those who rush to repentance!
    Ameen to your Dua
    "No doubt the muslim woman is the most refined example of womanhood ever known in any human society."
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    #7
    dijma dijma's Avatar
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    Its amazing what Islam can do to a person.

    Umar (ra) was of the people most brutal to the Muslims, so much so that he was out to kill the Prophet alayhi wassaalatu wassalam when he became Muslim.

    After Islam he is second only to Abu Bakr (ra) in terms of rank.

    This deen gives honour and takes it away.
    فاصبر ان العاقبة للمتقين
    The end is with deeds
    wassalam
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    #8
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    Assalaamu 'Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakaatuh


    If something like this nature was to happen how would you ask for forgiveness and would it be granted?

    I thought the following q&a from www.islamqa.com may help with this query. And indeed Allah knows best!

    It may be long, but it's definately worth the read!

    May Allah grant us that which is best.

    Wassalaamu 'Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakaatuh



    __________________________________________________ _______________

    Islam Questions & Answers
    www.islam-qa.com
    Question Reference Number:: 46683
    Title: Acceptance of repentance


    Home > The Heart Softeners > Repentance >

    Question:

    I have committed a great sin and I prayed to Allaah and asked Him to forgive me. Will my repentance from that sin be accepted? I feel that my repentance has not been accepted and that Allaah is angry with me. Are there any indications that repentance has been accepted?.

    Answer:

    Praise be to Allaah.

    Firstly: Making mistakes and falling short are undoubtedly part of human nature and no one will be free of shortcomings in his obedience to Allaah, or free of mistakes or forgetfulness or sins. All of us fall short, commit sins, and make mistakes. Sometimes we turn to Allaah and sometimes we turn away from Him. Sometimes we remember that Allaah is watching and sometimes we become negligent. None of us is free of sin, and we will inevitably make mistakes. We are not infallible. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “By the One in Whose hand is my soul, if you did not commit sin Allaah would do away with you and bring people who would commit sin then pray for forgiveness.” Narrated by Muslim, 2749. And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Every son of Adam sins, and the best of those who sin are those who repent.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2499; classed as hasan by al-Albaani.

    By His mercy towards weak man, Allaah has opened the gate of repentance to him, and has commanded him to turn to Him, every time sin overwhelms him. Were it not for that, man would suffer a great deal of hardship and would not have the drive to draw closer to his Lord; he would lose all hope of His forgiveness and pardon. Repentance is something that is necessary as a result of man’s shortcomings and human failings.

    Allaah has enjoined repentance on all kinds of people in this ummah: those who are foremost in good deeds, those who follow a middle course, and those who wrong their own selves by doing haraam things (cf. Faatir 35:32).

    Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And all of you beg Allaah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful”

    [al-Noor 24:31]

    “O you who believe! Turn to Allaah with sincere repentance!”

    [al-Tahreem 66:8]

    And the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O people, repent to Allaah and seek His forgiveness, for I repent one hundred times a day.” Narrated by Muslim, 2702 from the hadeeth of al-Agharr al-Muzani (may Allaah be pleased with him).

    Allaah has bestowed His mercy and encompassed His slaves with his kindness. He is Forbearing and does not punish us or destroy us straightaway, rather He gives us respite, and He commanded His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to proclaim His generosity:

    “Say: O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”

    [al-Zumar 39:53 – interpretation of the meaning].

    And He says, out of kindness towards His slaves (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Will they not turn with repentance to Allaah and ask His forgiveness? For Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”
    [al-Maa'idah 5:74]

    “And verily, I am indeed forgiving to him who repents, believes (in My Oneness, and associates none in worship with Me) and does righteous good deeds, and then remains constant in doing them (till his death)”
    [Ta-Ha 20:82]

    “And those who, when they have committed Faahishah (illegal sexual intercourse) or wronged themselves with evil, remember Allaah and ask forgiveness for their sins; — and none can forgive sins but Allaah — and do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know”
    [Aal ‘Imraan 3:135]

    “And whoever does evil or wrongs himself but afterwards seeks Allaah’s forgiveness, he will find Allaah Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”
    [al-Nisa’ 4:110]

    Allaah calls to repentance those who committed the gravest form of shirk and sin, those who say that ‘Eesa (peace be upon him) is the son of God – exalted be Allaah far above what the wrongdoers say. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Will they not turn with repentance to Allaah and ask His forgiveness? For Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”
    [al-Maa’idah 5:74]

    And He opens the door of repentance to the hypocrites, who are worse than the kuffaar who openly show their kufr. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Verily, the hypocrites will be in the lowest depth (grade) of the Fire; no helper will you find for them.

    146. Except those who repent (from hypocrisy), do righteous good deeds, hold fast to Allaah, and purify their religion for Allaah (by worshipping none but Allaah, and do good for Allaah’s sake only, not to show off), then they will be with the believers. And Allaah will grant the believers a great reward”


    [al-Nisa’ 4:145-146]

    One of the attributes of the Lord is that He accepts repentance and rejoices over it by His grace. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And He it is Who accepts repentance from His slaves, and forgives sins, and He knows what you do”

    [al-Shoora 42:25]

    “Know they not that Allaah accepts repentance from His slaves and takes the Sadaqaat (alms, charity), and that Allaah Alone is the One Who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful?”

    [al-Tawbah 9:104]

    It was narrated that Abu Hamzah Anas ibn Maalik al-Ansaari (may Allaah be pleased with him), the servant of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah rejoices more over the repentance of His slave than any one of you who finds his camel after having lost it in a desolate land.” Agreed upon.

    According to a report narrated by Muslim (2747): “Allaah rejoices more over the repentance of His slave than any one of you if he is on his camel in a desolate land, then it runs away from him and on it is his food and drink, and he despairs of finding it, so he goes to a tree and lies down in its shade, having despaired of finding his camel, then while he is like that, it suddenly appears in front of him and he takes hold of its reins and says, because of his intense joy, ‘O Allaah, You are my slave and I am your lord,’ making this mistake because of the intensity of his joy.”

    It was narrated from Abu Moosa ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Qays al-Ash’ari (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah spreads out His hand at night to accept the repentance of the one who sinned during the day, and He spreads out His hand by day to accept the repentance of the one who sinned during the night, (and that will continue) until the sun rises from the west.” Narrated by Muslim, 2759.

    It was narrated from Abu ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah will accept the repentance of His slave so long as the death-rattle has not yet reached his throat.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3537; classed as hasan by al-Albaani.

    Secondly: The blessings of repentance come in this world and in the Hereafter, some are visible and some are hidden. The rewards of repentance are: purity of heart, erasing of sins and increasing of hasanaat (good deeds). Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “O you who believe! Turn to Allaah with sincere repentance! It may be that your Lord will expiate from you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow (Paradise) the Day that Allaah will not disgrace the Prophet (Muhammad) and those who believe with him. Their Light will run forward before them and (with their Records Books of deeds) in their right hands. They will say: ‘Our Lord! Keep perfect our Light for us [and do not put it off till we cross over the Siraat (a slippery bridge over the Hell) safely] and grant us forgiveness. Verily, You are Able to do all things’”

    [al-Tahreem 66:8]

    The reward of repentance is a good life in the shade of faith, contentment, peace of mind and tranquility. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Seek the forgiveness of your Lord, and turn to Him in repentance, that He may grant you good enjoyment, for a term appointed, and bestow His abounding Grace to every owner of grace (i.e. the one who helps and serves the needy and deserving, physically and with his wealth, and even with good words)”
    [Hood 11:3]

    The reward of repentance is blessings coming down from heaven, blessings coming from the earth, an increase in one’s wealth and offspring, blessings in productivity, good physical health and protection from diseases. Allaah says of Hood (peace be upon him) (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And O my people! Ask forgiveness of your Lord and then repent to Him, He will send you (from the sky) abundant rain, and add strength to your strength, so do not turn away as Mujrimoon (criminals, disbelievers in the Oneness of Allaah)”
    [Hood 11:52]

    Thirdly: Everyone who repents to Allaah, Allaah accepts his repentance. The caravan of those who have repented to Allaah will not be interrupted until the sun rises from the west.

    One repented from banditry, another from adultery, and others from drinking alcohol, taking drugs, severing the ties of kinship, not praying or being too lazy to pray in congregation, disobeying parents, dealing in riba (usury) and bribes, stealing, shedding blood, consuming people’s wealth unlawfully, or smoking. Anyone who repents to Allaah from any sin is to be congratulated, because it is as if they have been born anew through their sincere repentance.

    It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed Sa’d ibn Maalik ibn Sinaan al-Khudri (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There was among the people who came before you a man who killed ninety-nine people. Then he asked about the most knowledgeable person on earth, and was directed to a hermit, so he went to him, told him that he had killed ninety-nine people, and asked if he could be forgiven. The hermit said, ‘No,’ so he killed him, thus completing one hundred. Then he asked about the most knowledgeable person on earth and was directed to a scholar. He told him that he had killed one hundred people, and asked whether he could be forgiven. The scholar said, ‘Yes, what could possibly come between you and repentance? Go to such-and-such a town, for in it there are people who worship Allaah. Go and worship with them, and do not go back to your own town, for it is a bad place.” So the man set off, but when he was halfway there, the angel of death came to him, and the angels of mercy and the angels of wrath began to argue over him. The angels of mercy said: ‘He had repented and was seeking Allaah.’ The angels of wrath said: ‘He never did any good thing.’ An angel in human form came to them, and they asked him to decide the matter. He said: ‘Measure the distance between the two lands (his home town and the town he was headed for), and whichever of the two he is closest to is the one to which he belongs.’ So they measured the distance, and found that he was closer to the town for which he had been headed, so the angels of mercy took him.” (Agreed upon).

    According to a version narrated by Muslim (2716): “He was closer to the righteous town by a handspan, so he was counted among its people.”
    According to a version narrated by al-Bukhaari (3470): “Allaah commanded (the righteous town) to draw closer and (the evil town) to move away, and he said: “Measure the distance between them,’ and he was found to be closer to (the righteous town) by a handspan, so he was forgiven.”

    According to a version narrated by Muslim: “He leaned with his chest towards it”.

    What is meant by repentance is returning to Allaah, giving up sin and hating it, and regretting falling short in obedience to Allaah. Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

    Repentance is essential from every sin, even if it is something between a person and Allaah and has nothing to do with the rights of another person. There are three conditions of repentance:

    1- You should give up the sin

    2- You should regret having done it

    3- You should resolve never to go back to it.

    If one of these three is missing, then your repentance is not sincere. If the sin has to do with the rights of another person, then there are four conditions: the three mentioned above and restoring the rights of that person. If it is money or property, etc, it must be returned to him; if it had to do with slandering him etc, then you should allow him to insult him in return, or ask for his forgiveness; if it had to do with backbiting about him, then you have to ask for his pardon. It is essential to repent from all sins; if a person repents from some, his repentance from the sins from which he repented is valid – according to the scholars who follow the right path – but he must still repent from the rest as well.


    End quote.

    Based on the above, if these conditions are met by the person who is repenting, then there is the hope that his repentance will be accepted, by Allaah’s leave. After that he should not worry about waswaas (whispers) suggesting that his repentance is not accepted, because that is from the Shaytaan and is contrary to what Allaah and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) have told us, that repentance is accepted if it is sincere.

    See also questions no. 624, 13630, 13990, 14289 and 34905.



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