My Aunty sent me this.....most of its funny, some a bit 'strange' lol
EVER WONDER where we are headed...
Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed?
Why you don't ever see the headline:
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why you have to click on "Start"
to stop Windows 98?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why the man who invests all your money is called a "Broker"?
Why there isn't mouse flavored cat food?
Who tastes dog food when it has a
"new & improved" flavor?
Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called apartments when
they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro,
is Congress the opposite of progress?
Why they call the airport "the terminal"
if flying is so safe?
AND...
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping".
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be how???)
On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert
(printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought????...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(And...I'm taking this because???)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Nobby's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one:
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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Thread: A Bit of a Laugh
Results 1 to 18 of 18
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A Bit of a LaughSenior Member
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16-Dec-2010 10:02 AM
When Allah tests you, it is never intended to destroy you.
When He removes something in your possession,
it is only in order to empty your hands for an even greater gift."
Ibn Qayyim al Jawziyyah
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Stranger...
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16-Dec-2010 10:08 AM
hehehehehehe love it!!
بَدَأَ الإِسْلاَمُ غَرِيبًا وَسَيَعُودُ كَمَا بَدَأَ غَرِيبًا فَطُوبَى لِلْغُرَبَاءِ
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TawheedFirst
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17-Dec-2010 07:17 PM
Hahahahahhahahahaha nice
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My Islam..
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17-Dec-2010 07:20 PM
lol! why is that!
Originally Posted by Umm Binyameen
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Senior Member
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17-Dec-2010 07:39 PM
Because opening the mouth wide stabilises makes it a lot harder to blink. so you are less likely to stick a stick in your eye. Works for eyedrops as well .
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My Islam..
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17-Dec-2010 07:41 PM
learn something everyday
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What?
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17-Dec-2010 07:48 PM
i think the question is why can't women ever keep their mouth closed?
tehe
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wasajahilnotnow
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17-Dec-2010 07:51 PM
^yeh ok so whats your excuse...tehe
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What?
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17-Dec-2010 07:53 PM
someones gota keep u chicks in line =D
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Senior Member
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17-Dec-2010 07:56 PM
Chicks? you think they have fur on their necks instead of feathers.
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My Islam..
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17-Dec-2010 08:20 PM
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WYSIWYG
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17-Dec-2010 08:21 PM
too late SOL i already saw what u posted.. i didnt know that
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What?
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17-Dec-2010 08:23 PM
can we have khadouj banned for inflammatory comments?????
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Senior Member
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17-Dec-2010 08:51 PM
Ok Ok...this wasn't suppose to throw us all into idle chatting girls and boys
When Allah tests you, it is never intended to destroy you.
When He removes something in your possession,
it is only in order to empty your hands for an even greater gift."
Ibn Qayyim al Jawziyyah
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TawheedFirst
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- Melbourne.
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17-Dec-2010 08:59 PM
Lol chill
Why did the chicken cross the road?
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