Marrying a revert...

**from water** · 08-Jan-2012 08:56 PM

Originally Posted by Iva

mine was a genuine question. no interrogation

Ya but.... it kinda puts him on the spot x_x, it wasn't directed at you personally though, just the general track it's going thas all. No really my last post has all those nervous faces because I don't want to offend anyone. And also because I'm getting nervous. Okay, loosening collar, come on oxygen, help me out here.

Originally Posted by NRaf

Yah, poor guy. Let him breathes, womens.

Yes, tell them Nraf, tell them. Whoo, okay, backup. We got this guys, it's going good. Everything is gonna be fine... breath in, breath out. Okay. Yes.

**Islam_Junkie** · 08-Jan-2012 09:06 PM

Honestly A_K best advice is put your trust in Allah, pray two rakat and ask Allah SWT to make finding your ideal spouse easy on you, someone who will fulfill the virtues you seek in a wife and who's character and conduct will be a source of comfort to you. If you're sincere inshaa'Allah it will happen in good time and it will inshaa'Allah be an uncomplicated and blessed union.

Wasalaam

**falah** · 08-Jan-2012 09:08 PM

Originally Posted by Abu_Khattab762

I'm not saying the dream is going to come true

It could come true. I dreamt about my wife before I even met her. I even dreamt of going to a place with her that I had never seen before - which we later went to.

From what I have read, two of the conditions for a dream to come true are that it should be a good dream, and also the dreamer must be an honest person.

The Prophet

said: “True dreams are one of the forty-six parts of Prophethood.”
(Bukhari 6472, Muslim 4201)

and

“Dreams are of three types: a dream from Allah, a dream which causes distress and which comes from the Shaytan, and a dream which comes from what a person thinks about when he is awake, and he sees it when he is asleep.” (Bukhari 6499, Muslim 4200)

"If any one of you sees a dream that he likes, this is from Allah, so let him praise Allah for it and talk about it to others. If he sees other than that, a dream that he dislikes, this is from the Shaytan, so let him seek refuge with Allaah from its evil and not mention it to anyone, for it will not harm him.” (Bukhari 6584, and Muslim 5862)

**aussiemu** · 08-Jan-2012 09:18 PM

carol: My point wasn't that looking for a revert speficially is wrong but that expectations should be realistic about families etc and that every person who is a revert or not is uniQue so it is better to keep an eye open to everyone whilst looking rather than fixating on one thing. I don't think the brother is doing that but people can need a reminder that life is not rosy just because you marry anyone - whether that is a revert or someone from the same culture or the same family - in th eend you will still have issues and problems to deal with. You wouldn't want someone to get the idea that if they marry a revert it will be easier if they have no family around them or are estranged from their family or they will be 'easier' to deal with because they are simply a revert. Hope that makes sense.

**The Poet** · 08-Jan-2012 09:27 PM

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Phew, my dear brothers and sisters, I ask Allah to reward you all with Ferdose Al-A'la for your advice, Walahi I really appreciate it and I HAVE learnt a thing a two from it.

I'll start searching inshallah for a potential, my reliance is on Allah 'azawajal. Worst comes to worst I'll still have at least 2 hoors in Jannah or more inshallah! Seriously though, whatever happens, happens.

**The Poet** · 08-Jan-2012 09:29 PM

P.S

@ from water and NRaf - <3 lol

**The Poet** · 08-Jan-2012 09:39 PM

I have one more question though and I know it may sound stupid, but would it be wise of me to write a poem about myself and what I desire in a marriage and give it to the wali to give to her to sort of portray some things about my character?.... Before we formally meet that is.

**Ummi_Abdulmalik** · 08-Jan-2012 09:45 PM

Originally Posted by Abu_Khattab762

I have one more question though and I know it may sound stupid, but would it be wise of me to write a poem about myself and what I desire in a marriage and give it to the wali to give to her to sort of portray some things about my character?.... Before we formally meet that is.

I think their wali might laugh but I think most women (or women like me) would be going aww a poet, and would love it.

**NRaf** · 08-Jan-2012 09:48 PM

Ya, I'd think there'd be some men who'd be very unimpressed...

**Umm Binyameen** · 08-Jan-2012 09:50 PM

I have one more question though and I know it may sound stupid, but would it be wise of me to write a poem about myself and what I desire in a marriage and give it to the wali to give to her to sort of portray some things about my character?.... Before we formally meet that is.

While some people would love it....Im sure a potential wali may think you're 'weird'. I'd keep the poetry for your wife insha'Allah.

**littleMother** · 08-Jan-2012 09:53 PM

i think most sisters (especially reverts lol) would be like 'pffft too corny!'

sorry

**Ummi_Abdulmalik** · 08-Jan-2012 09:55 PM

Originally Posted by littleMother

i think most sisters (especially reverts lol) would be like 'pffft too corny!'

sorry

I must be weird then....

**carol_au** · 08-Jan-2012 10:05 PM

no.. Ummi A. you are not weird at all

masha'Allah it really depends on the personality of the sister involved.. masha'Allah my husband wrote me more than one poem.. particularly in the early days of our marriage. .. Allah reward him and grant him Jannah Al Firdous ameen.

Brother if that is the way you like to express yourself best.. then I don't see it's wrong.. particularly if it will be part of your marriage

**aussiemu** · 08-Jan-2012 10:07 PM

I'm with those who advise against the poem unless you know she specifically like poems.

**your sister** · 08-Jan-2012 10:26 PM

Lol how about .... To be or not to be , THAT is the question!

**your sister** · 08-Jan-2012 10:34 PM

Actually regarding meeting people in dreams reminds me , sheikh was also mentioning in dars the other day about how the soul travels and meets with up with other souls ,with no barrier of time ( so u can actually meet up with someone from the past ) so ak you could have possibly met her already , how spun out is that

. Allah knows best

**Ummi_Abdulmalik** · 08-Jan-2012 10:36 PM

haha and our souls who dislike each other.... will make us all iffy when we meet them in this world!

**The Poet** · 08-Jan-2012 10:46 PM

Me has changed me mind bout the first poem, I'll leave it till Katib iktab, I have something special in mind inshallah, it'll be personal so hopefully it'll be appreciated. I am a poet and that is the way I like to speak to others. So many scholars were poets as well, our Qur'an is written in Arabic rhyme. The nasheeds we listen to are most likely written by people with a poetic background. So I think I'll stick with it in my marriage inshallah.

An update as well, my sister has informed me of a Yugoslavian revert sister SubhanAllah, and I didn't even mention it to her! Gonna ponder over it inshallah.

P.S. if a wife is not moved by her husband's words of compassion, then she has no right to say that men don't get their "emotions".

**Ummi_Abdulmalik** · 08-Jan-2012 10:49 PM

InshAllah you can find a sister who will make you happy in this world and the hereafter

**your sister** · 08-Jan-2012 10:56 PM

Ak bosnians are not bad lol I'm married to one alhamdulillah I am very blessed

, nothing to do with his nationality though ,his just an awsome bro

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