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    Oh Rise dear Ummah! Rise! 
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatallahu wa barakatu,

    I have recently alhamdulilah taken to writing poetry inshallah... Alhamdulilah, it helps...
    Please be honest with me inshallah, what do you all think of my poem inshallah??

    Not sure about a name, but judging by the title, I think I am going with Oh Rise dear Ummah! Rise!
    Is that a weird title, allahu alum... Jazakallah khair for any tips or advice

    Our brothers and sisters are being slaughtered,
    And us- we are quick to say it brings tears to our eyes.
    But when the call is made, this Ummah falls short,
    And they are left asking Allah- where are those that will rise?

    There are a few of us who truly are blessed,
    Watching the images that make our hearts cry.
    When they see our brothers and sisters getting tortured,
    Their heart long to fight for them- with the hope they'll die.

    To die as a shaheed with a smile on your face,
    The smell of musk penetrating from your grave.
    In the hope of spending eternity in Ferdose,
    Nothing less than your life you gave.

    But us- we continue to talk and reminisce,
    About the days this Ummah stood as one.
    A force to be reckoned with- was there anyone who dared?
    But now it is us, like cowards we run.

    Should it not be Allah who should be feared?
    Yet now it is our enemies from who we cower.
    We forget that we are all worth nothing,
    But victory is ours because with Allah lies all power.

    Victory once belonged to the Muslims,
    Though in numbers they were few.
    Subhanallah! Today we are many,
    But how many of us to Allah- we are true?

    How often did you find our beloved Prophet fleeing?
    How did we fall into a state he'd despise?
    Our lack of eeman and our lack of taqwa,
    It is only from us- that comes our demise.

    So rise Oh Ummah! And let us stop missing the mark,
    Let us return to Allah and his deen.
    By the will of our Rabb victory will be granted,
    Repent and inshallah our hearts, He will clean.

    Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatallahu wa barakatu
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    Abu Layla is Invisible Abu Layla's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Hobsons Bay

    It's nice masha'Allaah. Just the 3rd last bit probably should say "But how many of us to Allah are true?" in my opinion, would flow a bit better and I think still keeps a similar meaning.
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