The law student diet plan

[At-Ta'if]

THE LAW STUDENT DIET PLAN

WRITTEN BY KAT

“I could eat the apple in my bag, but that vending machine is full of chocolate. I’ll have the chocolate.”
Law students have the worst eating habits. Don’t believe me? Take a look at how we eat our way through the semester.

THE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD DIET

It’s the first few weeks of semester and you’re feeling pretty chilled. Your first assignment isn’t due for weeks and you’re still in holiday mode. You’re catching up with uni friends over long procrastinatory lunches and cooking up a gourmet storm at home – any food that takes a long time to prepare and eat is ideal. The longer it takes, the less time you’ll spend thinking about studying.
What’s on the menu? Pretty much anything that’s rich, complicated, and takes much longer to prepare than a packet of two-minute noodles. Oh, and there’s a lot of baking going on too.

THE ACCIDENTAL TAKE AWAY DIET

You’re about a month into semester now, and the deadlines for those assignments are starting to look a little too close for comfort. Being the responsible student that you are, you decide to spend the time between classes working on those looming assessments. But on the way to the library you run into a friend with the same idea. You agree that you’re both actually pretty hungry, and a quick take away meal before hitting the books couldn’t hurt. Plus the Vegemite sandwich in your bag was looking pretty boring anyway. Take away is somehow followed by chips, ice cream, coffee, etc. You waste as much time as the All the Time in the World Diet and consume even more food. Oops.

THE VENDING MACHINE DIET

That assignment is due this week. You barricade yourself in the law library and decide that you’re going to spend every available waking moment there. You’re too focused on your assignment to have packed lunch, so every meal comes from the faithful vending machine downstairs that conveniently accepts credit card. Surely some of the options are healthy?

THE ALL-NIGHTER DIET

That assignment is still not done and it’s due tomorrow. Must. Stay. Awake. So it’s Red Bull, coffee, tea, Powerade, Coke, energy bar, Berocca. Maybe a Twix or a handful of red frogs too. Let the combination of caffeine, sugar and pure stress sustain you.

THE HOUSE ARREST DIET

Your assignments are over but now exams are almost here… and you’re feeling pretty under-prepared. Locking yourself in your house for several blissful weeks devoted to study seems like a good plan. No time for cooking, it’s peanut butter toast and two-minute noodles for you.

THE POST EXAMS DIET

Does it have alcohol in it? You want it. (Not applicable)

THE POST-POST EXAMS DIET

Combine one pair of sunglasses with quiet environment, two litres of water and paracetamol tablets. Greasy breakfast optional. Expect to find yourself thinking “detox”.

[waleed-]

Taif-Are you a law student or are you fully qualified?

[Ummi_Abdulmalik]

Here's the full time mummy diet.

Eat whatever is left over from the kids.

The end.

[At-Ta'if]

Taif-Are you a law student or are you fully qualified?

I'm currently a student; I will let you all know when I'm admitted to practice, insha'Allah ta'aala.