Man & Woman chatting trough internet to get married?

[falah]

There is no reason why you can't approach marriage in the correct way.

We need to be careful in describing something as "the correct way" or "incorrect way" when talking about religion.

Arranging a marriage can be an act of worship. If the couple have no other options, and adhere to Islamic guidelines, then how is arranging marriage through the internet incorrect?

Would we consider anything wrong with a man and a woman conducting a business transaction through the internet?

We should consider this in light of many parents today not feeling any responsibility to arrange marriages for their children, and many converts to Islam not living in communities which help them to marry.

What is needed, is perhaps better education on how such interaction should occur, and under which situations it should be occur, but even more importantly, perhaps, is that parents are educated on their responsibility to find a suitable spouse for their children.

[Sister.]

We need to be careful in describing something as "the correct way" or "incorrect way" when talking about religion.

Emphasis on this.

[falah]

I am not saying troll the streets. I'm saying if she meets a man in a public place through friends or a class or a BBQ or whatever, she can speak to him.

I wonder how you reconcile this to all the hadeeth and ayaat telling us not to stare at the opposite sex. It is very difficult to maintain a conversation with someone while trying to avert the gaze.




Evidence Prohibiting of Mixing of Men and Women

[falah]

assalamu alaikum

wa 'alaykumussalaam

...There are many more disasters from online chatting than there are from doing it in front of your wali/mahrams.

That may be true, but I am wondering how you have come to this conclusion.

Would you really be OK with your daughter for e.g. chatting to a strange guy about marriage online without you knowing about it?

Not really, but, on the other hand, if I had not bothered to arrange a marriage for my daughter, then I could not really blame her.

It's one thing to chat whilst your family knows about it but another to do it behind their back. Even if ultimately you end up with a good marriage it doesn't mean the means of getting there were right.

I wonder how many young women would feel comfortable talking about this with their dads.

there are many cases of women being deceived about marital situations, about the background of the guy and so forth after meeting someone online. There are people who actively seek out vulnerable women etc just like there are non-Muslims who do the same as well. It isn't limited to Muslims. The Internet has opened up the avenues for a lot easier communication between people than seeing someone in person.

Maybe so. But people can be deceived dealing face-to-face as well. Probably people need to be more better educated about checking facts.

I mean we even have men who pretend to be Muslim women so they can 'befriend' Muslim women. Some of these men are non-Muslim and some are Muslim. Would a man be able to pretend he is a woman in real life? Would a man be able to pretend he is 25 when he is really 50 in real life?

I think this involves fact-checking. just because you have arranged a marriage through the internet, does not mean that you cannot check facts.

It doesn't hurt to recognise that the best method is to speak in front of your mahrams - even if you find someone through a forum or elsewhere you are interested in - you can have a mahram oversee the whole process still even if it is online. Why would anyone dispute that leaving out the wali is not the right to do?

I agree in principle, although we should consider that there may be times when the wali cannot be present or takes no interest.

Perhaps a good way for people to think of it is not to write anything that they would feel ashamed for their wali to see.

[your sister]

We need to be careful in describing something as "the correct way" or "incorrect way" when talking about religion.

Short answer to your "waffle", with all due respect brother but Id much rather listen to an educated sheikh ,who not only has acquired valid knowledge of quraan and sunnah but most likely has people knowledge and has had deal with arising issues in the community ,such as the one discussed in this topic.

The following short clip is for all you shuyukh batikhas on here

[from water]

Lol, I just saw today how this brother got married, warning, hilarious story incoming:

[your sister]

lolllllllll "li biyi3jbak baba" hehe I was wondering what his background is

[from water]

lolllllllll "li biyi3jbak baba" hehe I was wondering what his background is

Roooofl, I laughed so hard when he said that, "yalli byi3ijbak baba".

[Muslim..Priincess]

I always thought he was lebo.

[falah]

Short answer to your "waffle", with all due respect brother but Id much rather listen to an educated sheikh ,who not only has acquired valid knowledge of quraan and sunnah but most likely has people knowledge and has had deal with arising issues in the community ,such as the one discussed in this topic.

The following short clip is for all you shuyukh batikhas on here

I will assume that you are trying to be funny considering it was you who gave the fatwa saying that going through the internet is not "the correct" way

[from water]

I always thought he was lebo.

I'd have assumed he was pally. A level 60 pally!

Okay not sure if you can call Palestinians pallies.

Anyway, just for clarification, I don't think finding spouses via the net is wrong, it's just the communication without the mahram or wali present that invites headaches, and this applies to both the internet and in real life.

I guess putting it that way, my input is not very relevant, given I don't think anyone here disagrees with that.

[from water]

Eh, I posted something just now, but I think the forum ate it all up. Hmmm...

[NRaf]

Discussion seems to be spiraling into an abyss of nothingness so I've deleted some posts and closed the thread.