Advice on a family matter

[Pink]

Selam all, I am a revert so obviously my family aren't Muslim. My great grandmother just passed away and I was just wondering if I would be able to attend her funeral? My family isn't really religious so the funeral won't be at a church, it will probably be at a small Chappell/hall at the cemetery. Would I be able to attend, keeping in mind that if I don't it will cause fights between my family and I. If I can avoid this by going would it be exceptable?

[Ahmad]

Wa `alaykum assalaam.

If you are not able to seek advice from your local Imam, then this question seems similar to your situation: http://islamqa.com/en/ref/145532/

Sorry for your loss.

[SammerTX]

Question: sallam. is it good for a muslim to enther church for funeral or any event? if is not good then whats the punishment of such muslim.

Answer: You are allowed to enter a church if you have a legitimate need to do so such as attending a funeral or a wedding or in order to acquaint yourself with the Christian way of worship or even developing cordial relations with them.

There is nothing objectionable about it in such cases. I would also add that they are not only sanctioned but may even be encouraged in Islam.

In other words, it all depends on the intention and purpose of your visit. If you are entering the Church for the purpose of worship or receiving blessings or confessing your sins or beseeching favors from other than Allah, then you are wrong.

If, on the contrary, it is not for any of the above reasons, and you simply went there to observe how the Christians conduct their services and familiarize yourself with their ways or for the purpose of outreach, dialogue, cooperation in virtuous acts, etc., then there is nothing wrong with that.

In such cases, it may even be highly recommended depending on the nature of your visit and the circumstances. We know that the Caliph 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him), while in Jerusalem, was taken around in the ancient Church by the patriarch, but he refused to pray inside; when asked about it he said, "I am afraid, if I were to do so, Muslims might later claim it as a prayer place or a musalla.

To conclude, I can say that there is nothing wrong for Muslims in visiting churches or synagogues or temples if the purpose is other than worship or religious reasons. May Allah help us all to remain steadfast on the straight path and guide our steps. Ameen.



Question: My question is in regards to attending funerals of someone from a different religion. Are we allowed to attend the funeral of a non-muslim? If yes are we allowed to participate in their prayers and rituals knowing that we don't believe in what they're doing but we are there to pay our condolences? If no are we allowed to make duaa for them in our own way to bless them with jannah or anything of that sort?

Answer: Islam is all about compassion and good neighborliness.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, " Jibreel continued to exhort me about kindness to my neighbor to such an extend so that I even thought he would be eligible to inherit my property." It goes without saying that, if that is the case, then visiting your neighbor when he is sick or attending his funeral would certainly be a priority.

This is why we know that the Prophet's companions used to attend the funerals of their non-Muslim relatives and friends.

While attending a non-Muslim funeral, we are not to participate in their specific religious rituals. It is best that we use the occasion to observe silence, and contemplate the mystery of death and pray for all of those who have died in good faith.

In other words, you should not make a specific prayer for the person; rather you are only allowed to offer a general prayer for all good souls and leave the judgment to Allah to sort out the good souls from the bad ones.

The reason for this is that human beings are free exercise their freedom of conscience and therefore each person is accountable for the choices he or she has made. For further details, here is a previous answer I gave on a similar question:

Question

Dear scholars, As-Salamu 'alaykum. I am a convert. I always come across the following questions from the new converts: Is it permissible for us to make du'a' (supplication) for our parents, family members and relatives who are non-Muslims? What can we pray for them? What can we not? Jazakum Allah khayran.

Answer: "We are certainly allowed to make du'a' for our non-Muslim relatives and friends who are living; we can pray for them for their health, wellbeing and guidance. But the most important prayer that we can do for them is to pray for their guidance to the path of Islam; we must do so on a continuous basis.

Our prayer for guidance for them should be complemented by our earnest efforts to persuade them to embrace Islam through wisdom and beautiful preaching. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "If a single person were to be guided to the right way through your efforts that would be better for you than owning the whole world as a treasure!"

As for our non-Muslim relatives or friends who have died, we are not allowed to pray for them if we know for a certain fact that they have died in disbelief:

Allah says, "It is not fitting for the Prophet and the believers to pray for the forgiveness of the polytheists, even though they may be near kin (to them) after it has become clear them that they are the people of Hell." (At-Tawbah: 113)

Since, according to Islam, every person is responsible for the choice he has made in life, and he has chosen the path of disbelief, we are not to pray for his forgiveness. If, however, we are not sure what kind of faith they died in, then we are allowed to offer the following general prayer which includes all believers. If they had died in faith they would certainly be included in it; let Allah be the judge:

Allahumma ighfir li al-mu'minia wa al-mu'minat, al-ahya' minhum wa al-amwat: (O Allah, forgive all believers, males and females, those who are living and those who have died).

We may also pray in the manner of Prophet 'Isa (Jesus-peace be upon him), who prayed to Allah concerning the Christians who associated him in the worship of Allah:

"If you punish them, they are Your slaves, and if You forgive them, You are the August, the Wise." (Al-Ma'idah: 118)

[falah]

I would not take the opinions of great scholars like Imam Ahmad and Imam Malik lightly.

Abu Taalib, the paternal uncle of the Prophet died, and he instructed ‘Ali to bury him, but the Prophet did not attend his funeral or his burial, even though Abu Taalib’s support and defence of the Prophet was well known, and even though the Prophet felt a great deal of compassion and mercy towards him. Nothing stopped him from doing that except the fact that Abu Taalib died in a state of kufr. In fact the Prophet said: “I shall certainly pray for forgiveness for you so long as I am not forbidden to do so.” Then the words were revealed (interpretation of the meaning): “It is not (proper) for the Prophet and those who believe to ask Allaah’s forgiveness for the Mushrikoon, even though they be of kin, after it has become clear to them that they are the dwellers of the Fire (because they died in a state of disbelief)” [al-Tawbah 9:113] and: “Verily, you (O Muhammad) guide not whom you like,” [al-Qasas 28:56].

Abu Dawood (3214) and al-Nasaa’i (2006) narrated that ‘Ali said: I said to the Prophet : Your paternal uncle, the misguided old man, has died. He said: “Go and bury your father.”

Although Islam promotes upholding ties of kinship and treating relatives kindly, it forbids close friendship between the believer and the disbeliever, so whatever is one of the forms of close friendship is forbidden, but whatever is kindness that is less than close friendship is permitted.

Imam Maalik (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “The Muslim should not wash his father if his father died as a disbeliever, or attend his funeral, or go down into his grave, unless he fears that he may be neglected, in which case he may bury him.[from al-Mudawwanah, 1/261]

It says in Sharh Muntaha al-Iraadaat (1/374): The Muslim should not wash the kaafir because it is not allowed to form a strong bond with the kuffaar, and because that implies respecting him and purifying him; therefore it is not permissible, as is the case with offering the funeral prayer for him: “Do not shroud him or pray for him or attend his funeral,” because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Take not as friends the people who incurred the Wrath of Allaah” [al-Mumtahanah 60:13].

It says in Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah (9/10): What is the ruling on attending the funerals of disbelievers which has become a political custom and a tradition that all agreed upon?

Answer: If there are some kuffaar present who can bury their dead, then the Muslims should not bury them or join the kuffar or help them with burying them, or seek to be kind to them by attending their funerals, acting in accordance with political customs. Such matters are not known to have been done by the Messenger of Allah or by the Rightly Guided Caliphs. Rather Allah forbade His Messenger to stand over the grave of Abdullah ibn Ubayy ibn Salool, and the reason given was that he was a disbeliever. Allah said (interpretation of the meaning): “And never (O Muhammad ) pray (funeral prayer) for any of them (hypocrites) who dies, nor stand at his grave. Certainly they disbelieved in Allaah and His Messenger, and died while they were Faasiqoon (rebellious, — disobedient to Allaah and His Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم)” [al-Tawbah 9:84]. But if there are none of them present who could bury him, then the Muslims should bury him as the Prophet did with the slain of Badr and his paternal uncle Abu Taalib when he died, and he said to ‘Ali: “Go and bury him.”

Standing Committee for Academic Research and Issuing Fatwas

‘Abd-Allah ibn Qa‘ood, ‘Abd-Allah ibn Ghadyaan, ‘Abd al-Razzaaq ‘Afeefi, ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abd-Allah ibn Baaz. End quote.

Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) issued a similar fatwa in Fataawa Noor ‘ala al-Darb.

Secondly:

Attending the funeral of a kaafir in the church is much more serious than merely following the funeral procession, because this attendance implies listening to kufr and falsehood. This is something that is ignored by those who say that it is permissible to attend and stipulate that one should not participate in the rituals that take place there. Just sitting and watching and listening to kufr and falsehood is a wrong action that one should not do.

And Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And it has already been revealed to you in the Book (this Qur’aan) that when you hear the Verses of Allaah being denied and mocked at, then sit not with them, until they engage in a talk other than that; (but if you stayed with them) certainly in that case you would be like them. Surely, Allaah will collect the hypocrites and disbelievers all together in Hell”

[Aal ‘Imraan 3:140].

Al-Jassaas said in Ahkaam al-Qur’aan (2/407): In this verse there is evidence that it is obligatory to denounce the evildoer’s action and that part of denouncing it is expressing disapproval, if it is not possible to remove it, as well as leaving the gathering where it is happening, until they stop doing that evil action. End quote.

Thus it is clear that attending the funeral rituals in the church is a great evil because of what it involves of listening to kufr and being present at innovation, whilst keeping quiet about it, in addition to the fact that attending the funeral is a sign of honour and friendship as mentioned above.

We ask Allah to help us and you to be steadfast and to guide us and help us all.

And Allah knows best.


[Sheikh Muhammed Salih al-Munajjid]

http://islamqa.com/en/ref/145532/

[At-Ta'if]

Selam all, I am a revert so obviously my family aren't Muslim. My great grandmother just passed away and I was just wondering if I would be able to attend her funeral? My family isn't really religious so the funeral won't be at a church, it will probably be at a small Chappell/hall at the cemetery. Would I be able to attend, keeping in mind that if I don't it will cause fights between my family and I. If I can avoid this by going would it be exceptable?

Pink, sorry to hear about your loss, may Allah give you patience.

Some scholars say you can as long as you don't participate in their acts of worship and rituals, and others say you can't attend the funeral in any circumstance.

I think it's best you speak with your husband and decide together the best course of action.

[falah]

Selam all, I am a revert so obviously my family aren't Muslim. My great grandmother just passed away and I was just wondering if I would be able to attend her funeral? My family isn't really religious so the funeral won't be at a church, it will probably be at a small Chappell/hall at the cemetery. Would I be able to attend, keeping in mind that if I don't it will cause fights between my family and I. If I can avoid this by going would it be exceptable?

wa 'alaykumus-salaam

Muslims shouldn't participate in kafir religious rituals.

Even attending non-religious funerals can be problematic. I know of a brother who was promised by his non-muslim family that there would be no religious rituals at his grandmother's funeral, but during the funeral this commitment was not kept and the Christian "Lord's Prayer" was uttered. The brother had to leave.


There is evidence to suggest that burying the dead kafir relative may be allowed, and contributing to the cost of the burial if there is a need. Best to consult a sheikh about it.

[Pink]

Jazzakuallah khair for all the responses, it will not be in a church, there will not be a priest. They may say the 'lords pray' but I would go outside when they say it. There will be no other religious talk because there will be no religious speaker. I have until Wednesday, inshallah I can find more information by then.